Looking for an online dominatrix can be challenging. Regardless, if you are new to BDSM or a seasoned submissive. When in need of a new Mistress or in my case Princess, (I answer to either.)Â it can be difficult. My heart really goes out to the guy that was in a very happy BDSM relationship with a Mistress and for whatever reasons, he finds out he needs to find another Mistress. You can read more about that on my future blog post So you are needing a new Mistress to phone.
Here are some questions you need to be asking your potential new Mistress. Remember to listen to your gut as well.
5 Questions to ask your new phone dominatrix
- As a phone dominatrix– What characteristics would you use to best describe your dominant style? This question gives you a great opportunity to learn more about your potential Mistress.
For me. I would use these adjectives to best describe me and my role as your Cock Control Mistress:
1)wickedly playful
2) demanding
3) bossy as fuck
4) compassionate
5) nurturing
You can go and read my past blog posts and read my online reviews to get a better sense of what kind of Mistress- I am. This is true for most Mistresses. So, do your research.
2) What scenes, kink turns you on? This next question is tricky. And, I feel it is important to ask a potential new Mistress this kind of question but I can’t answer for all Mistresses. Dominatrix’s are like snow flakes no two are a like. We all bring our own unique experiences to the table.
I love the above question but I don’t like this question– What will you do to me? Can you see the difference in the two questions. When a guy asks me “What will you do to me?” My initial response is- Dude, I hardly know you. I am not going to answer this, especially in a text or email. You need to do a call and ask that question. If you do ask me, “What do you want to do to me?” You might hear me let out an involuntary groan. Don’t worry– I will still talk to you and answer your question– but first expect a lot of questions from me before you get an answer.
3) What experiences do you have in power exchange?
This is a very good question. This question tells me– that you are really interested in knowing me. This question usually leads to more questions and you really get a better understanding of my history as a Mistress. This is a question, I feel you need to ask any Mistress that you are interested in submitting to. While you are listening. And, you really must listen. How is your body responding to the answers? Do you feel like you are in good hands with this Mistress?
For me- I love the power exchange I get to experience with the different guys or sometimes girls, I get to play with. I find it very exciting. Depending on the kink my experiences and love of our play and power exchange changes. I love cock sucking training–I am using this as an example and I get really turned on by using my strap-on. I find my self to be more nurturing when face fucking a guy. This power exchange is very erotic to me. Where as, I am really into corporal punishment but it turns me on for very different reasons. I am a little more meaner and at the same time- I still care.
Don’t forget these 2 important questions to ask your phone dominatrix:
4) Am I okay to use a safe word? Change my mind?
This is a very important question to ask, especially when talking with a new Mistress or phone Dominatrix. Does her answer make you feel that she expects total obedience and it’s not okay? I say move on and keep looking!
I am all for consensual, sane, safe BDSM practices. I want you to feel good about our time together not only physically but emotionally. I like to do do after care and ask that do take care of yourself outside of the session. I like when you communicate with me between sessions. I most definitely want you to use a safe word or change your mind on something–if you feel the need to do just that. Don’t ever hesitate when it comes to that. I love being a Mistress– I am a Mistress with a big heart, not a heartless person that thinks it’s my way or the highway. So, it’s very important to communicate. Especially, in these situations.
For example. I have a guy that likes to act like he is very reluctant about eating his own cum. We talked about it and it’s the one time he is not allowed to use a safe word. He can act anyway he wants but he has to get on cam and he has to eat every last drop of his cum for me as I watch him do it on Skype. He knows if he does not — there are consequences and we talked this all out. We understand each other and have a great time together. He eats his cum. In the beginning, if we didn’t communicate I might not have insisted on it.
In regards of After care, I don’t include it in my list of questions here; but, it is a great followup question to ask a Mistress about what she offers her submissive when it comes to after care.
5) Am I allowed to call other Mistresses?
This is a good question to ask. Some Mistresses are going to feel differently than I am about the subject. For me, I don’t mind if you call and talk to other Mistresses. I actually do love to show you off and share. I just ask that you are respectful to everyone involved. Depending on our relationship and if you are in chastity or some other arrangement with me. There might be some rules but that depends on an individual case by case. I sometimes say, call this Mistress but no orgasm. or you get a ruined orgasm. But there are guys that like the idea that they are not allowed to talk to other Mistresses. I am not a good fit for that guy because I have fun sharing!
In conclusion–These are just 5 questions you need to ask a potential new Mistress. I hardly scratch the surface to questions that can be asked. I strongly suggest you call the Mistress you are interested on the phone and ask her these questions. That’s the best way to find out if there is potential to a really hot BDSM future for you both.
I wish you the best on your journey as a submissive and choosing the right Mistress to play with makes a world of difference in your experiences.
I want to capture your cock and penetrate your mind.
Princess And
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Thank you, Toolbox! xoxo
Miss Andi seems to have exactally what I need, am enjoying getting to know her slowly and she’s a bit of a handful. Hee hee hee very much in control.????
@spotty My pleasure, dear!
@Ms Rachel, tabula rasa? I had to Google it. I learned something new today, thank you. 🙂
Tabula rasa is the epistemological theory that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that therefore all knowledge comes from experience or perception. Proponents of tabula rasa disagree with the doctrine of innatism which holds that the mind is born already in possession of certain knowledge. Wikipedia
Great post, Miss Andi! I especially resonated with #2. Some would-be submissives probably intend to show their willingness to submit by saying “I’ll do what ever You want”, but for one thing, they ought to be careful saying that (*giggle*), and for another, I think You’re like Me in that rather than seeking a tabula rasa, You are seeking a submissive with definite kinks, boundaries, vulnerabilities, and triggers to exploit! And I like how You make note of the fact that You want to be known as well!
This is a great post! These questions are wonderful. Submissives do need to realize that they have power to set boundaries in these relationships. It is not all about the mistress making every decision. Kink needs to be explored within boundaries that are comfortable for both sub and mistress. I love to share as well. It is best to have different styles of play.
Mistress Erika, I do adore you! I love your comment– your point about how guys that are submissive do have power. That is a key misconception about BDSM that Submissives don’t have any power. WE both know that this is utter B.S Thanks for adding to the discussion. I do love to share with you! XoXo
Goddess Mandy, I am flattered thank you for reading! One of the things I love about LDW is that the Mistresses DO care about their submissive. Thank you for adding to the discussion– XoXo
Thank you, Mistress Amber– I agree– any Domme worth her salt will take the time to answer questions. I appreciate you taking the time to not only read but to leave a comment. XoXo
It’s natural to be nervous. I am here for you and you will be happy you went for it! Thanks Greg!
Thank you, Spotty, hee-hee you are sweet! XoXo
Wow, Andi!
Fantastic post! These are great questions to keep in mind when deciding on a Mistress to play with.
Many erroneously assume the submissive in the scene has no power. Well, if that’s the scene you are playing I guess it’s true in that scene. However , you show here that each submissive does have power. They choose to play, or not. They get to set boundaries and negotiate the play.
We also get to get a taste of your Femdom style! Of course we’ve played together before, and I know you like to share! *eyebrow wiggle*. You know I’m the same. Sharing is caring! *winks* right?
Your last line……….
“I want to capture your cock and penetrate your mind”
fuck woman, you gave me goosies! ????
I SO love this post, Ms.Andi! These are super great questions and will absolutely cut to the heart of what both of you are all about and perhaps truly looking for. And I am with you…”safe words” can be so very important…even if never used. I think knowing that it’s there and that your Mistress cares about and respects YOU is vitally important for your bond to thrive! 🙂
This is a great blog for someone who is shopping for a new Domme. All great questions and honestly, any Domme worth her salt will answer these and more. We want our subs and sluts to be happy and know exactly what they’re getting. Thanks for putting this out there, Miss Andi!
I’ll say it right out,I’m scared,but I’m really ready for the next step……Maybe that’s part of it miss Andi.
Great post Princess Andi, I of course am not looking. I have you. If I was these five thoughtful intelligent questions would be a great guide. XoXo